A Lonely Christmas

While Christmas can be a festive time of year where friends and family gather to celebrate good tidings, for some, it can be a very depressing and lonely season. Instead of festive garland, some are hanging a black wreath on their door. And while no time is a good time to morn the loss of a loved one, to be assaulted by Christmas carols while grieving can tear a soul apart.

I have a few intimate friends that are mourning the loss of family. Two are each missing a father, one a husband. To say that I understand what they are going through would be a lie, as I have not lost anyone intimately in quite a while. I cannot feel their pain. And even if I did, no words I could offer would ever ease the emptiness of being able to turn to the deceased, call out their name, expecting an answer. Now the only answer they hear is a deafening silence echoing inside a lonely heart.

I am also aware of friends with loved ones in hospice, some of which are desperately hoping to see one last smile on Christmas day. A heartfelt prayer for one more breath, one more day, one more holiday together. Or others are walking on faith that those serving overseas, defending our country, will return home soon with open arms and not in a flag draped casket.

It can be torturous to hear “Joy to the World” when your own world has skipped a beat. When Merry Christmas just isn’t quite so merry.

As a friend, I want nothing more than to take away the pain. But I also realize that this can be a selfish request. Doing so would almost negate the importance of those passed. No, the pain helps remind us of the love they give to us. Love that should never be taken lightly. Love that has shaped us and brought out the very best in who we are.

I am a person of faith. I can speak truthfully of God’s love for us all. I can speak with certainty that those that have gone home before us are indeed festive and pain free. And I like to believe, that if given a chance, they would each reach out to us to say how beautiful everything is. They would tell us not to cry and that everything is all right.

But when you’re alone, you’re alone. A heartbreak, ANY heartbreak, is a soul suffering thing. You can have friends and family to help you through, to be sure. But no one knows your own heart like you do. And no one will have those memories that only you alone have. Which can make it even harder to have anybody understand what you feel. Again, no time is a good time for heartache. But the cold winter air and shortened days lacking sunlight add a smothering blanket to an already grey time.

I write of this for my friends in need, trying to say in my own obtuse way that I think of you constantly and will do whatever I can to be the best friend possible to you. Even if that means giving you the space you need to just work through it all. I write this for those of us who are blessed with abundance to be aware of those in need of a friend and suffering any loss. This can be a loved one, a marriage, a job or even a pet. We may not be able to make someone joyful with the fact that Santa Claus is coming to town, but we can always show our love to them and be there whenever they need us. After all, this holiday was based on the ultimate gift of love given to all of us. Seems a simple enough example to follow.

Of course, we should have the right to inflict severe pain to anyone playing Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmas Time”. Justifiable Homicide, I say!

Merry Christmas, everyone!