Do I look Christian?

I was recently told by an acquaintance that I was one of the coolest Christians he ever met. The phrase he said that caught my ear most was that I don’t act like a Christian. I was flattered and bemused all at the same time. I mean, what exactly does a Christian look like? With this being election time, the media is overflowing with Republican candidates vying for the presidential nomination. And everyday the media has a field day pointing out the “less than Christian” behavior displayed by each and every candidate. I could list examples but I’ll let you do your own research on that one. It won’t take too much effort.

Another friend makes it abundantly clear that the bible is a work of fiction. She has a huge disdain for Christians for their judgmental behavior, their hypocritical actions and the scandalous nature of the church. She can produce, in my opinion, very valid arguments as to why being a Christian is akin to being a lying, cheating politician. Which, again, as we have seen in the news recently, is not too much a stretch to believe. The recent debates showed grown adults professing to be exemplary models of righteousness while using all their effort to trash their opponents. Classic schoolyard mentality.

So what does a Christian look like? If it looks like a presidential candidate, then I am grateful to not look like one. And I could care less if you’re Mormon, Baptist, Catholic, or Hindu, Muslim or Buddhist.  If that is the best behavior that your faith can provide, I respectfully decline an invitation to your dinner table.

I’ll be honest, I have certain images that come to mind when I think of the term “Christian” based on what I have been exposed to. I mean, I am a Christian. Many friends of mine are Christian and they do not resemble any of the aforementioned behavior. And overall this is the majority of whom I know as Christians. Just a group of good people that try to do the best that they can to live each day as best as possible.

But even I conjure up images of Bible thumpers and end-of-world doomsayers who protest abortion clinics, gays and anything that does not look exactly like themselves. And please spare me from telling me what the bible says about anything I wrote. Number one, I know what the bible says. I actually read it. Number two, I’ve seen too may people, both Christian and non-Christian use the bible as a means to their own ends.  This book has been debated for over 2000 years. I’d like to assume that if there was a clear answer, we would all have agreed to it by now. If you have all the answers, run for office. On second thought......

I am Christian. But I also like loud, in your face, rock-n-roll. I like things that explode. I cuss. I laugh at fart jokes. I am convinced that Jesus has a great sense of humor. I’ll bet He even asked Peter to pull his finger! Look at when He had Peter walk jump out the boat! Test of faith or practical joke? Ok, kidding a bit on that last one. I speed like a maniac when I drive, which is why you will never see a fish on the back of my car. I drink. I enjoy a good buzz once in awhile. I did quit smoking several years ago. I’m human. Fallible. Perfectly imperfect.

So I ask my friends and even my enemies. Do I look like a Christian? Or maybe I should ask you what do you think a Christian should look like? And on behalf of us who cringe every time a politician places one hand on a bible and the other jerking you off, well, you’re not alone. That’s the black sheep of the family we’re too embarrassed to acknowledge. Kinda like Randy Quaid in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. But why do we keep voting them into office? And if they are the epitome of what a Christian looks like, I'm putting myself up for adoption!