So this is my first blog post. And I am at a loss as to what to write about. I’m still trying to understand what exactly a blog is? Some people get paid to blog. Some should be banned from blogging. EVER! Yes, but I will attempt to do what has never before done in the history of the world, something so grammatically experimental, except for when Tom Lehrer created “The Element Song”, which was really cool AND featured on an episode of NCIS. One of my favorite shows, but primarily because it has Cote di Pablo. Cote, originally from Brazil portrays a Jewish Mossad agent, Ziva David. She looks great confusing idioms in ANY language.
Speaking of confusing language, there is a story in the Old Testament of the bible where people were building a tower towards heaven so they could be as powerful as God. Everyone spoke the same language. When God saw this, he scattered them and changed their language so that they could not understand each other. The place is forever known as Babylon. This is also the origin of today’s legal and political systems. This also explains why you can’t understand your spouse.
Speaking of spouses, from a male perspective, why do women wear uncomfortable shoes? I love reading about history and most of the world was nomadic at one point so you think a comfortable pair of shoes would be priceless! I mean, can you imagine herding sheep all day in a pair of Dolce Vita’s or Bebe’s? Go to a wedding reception. The first thing that disappears (aside from the inhibition to do the Marcerana) are her SHOES! Why wear them if you can’t dance in them! Instead, you see women spend a third-world country budget on shoes that requires a small stepladder to climb into because the heels are so high that an old time lynching could take place from one!
Speaking of lynch mobs, we now see that a lynch mob captured Moammar Gaddafi. Well, not exactly a lynch mob since they had guns but no rope according to the videos posted on YouTube. And as I attempted to watch the video, I had to verify that I was of legal age and sound mind to watch the video of a tyrannical dictator, known to have committed thousands of atrocities during his reign. Irony! The Internet police are watching me. I wonder if they are a branch of the Dream Police, which the rock group Cheap Trick sang about back in the late 70’s?
Yes, the 70’s. A decade that will be recorded in the history book for such valuable contributions as bell-bottoms, tube tops, pong and of course, DISCO! Such a contagious disease that even such hard rock evangelists like KISS and the Rolling Stones even had a go at it! Even now, nightmares are taking shape as I have images of Gene Simmons in a white, polyester suit, strutting on the dance floor ala John Travolta-style.
Speaking of John Travolta, he was apparently denied a table at a Kentucky Fried Chicken in Sussex, England. John was in town to attend a Scientology conference. I wonder if he flew there on his own or had to travel commercial? And oddly enough, John seems to be one of the few Scientology members who has not become a total wacko, unlike Tom Cruise and Kirstie Alley. So is this John’s form of out-of-town indulgence? Way different than the stories you don’t hear about from Las Vegas. What happens in Sussex STAYS in Sussex!
Maybe I could write about what I do on Facebook, which is kinda like blogging but with a Jerry Springer feel to it. But I don’t care for it much these days because they the changed the formatting around and I can’t locate the restroom and the new chef is just not making a crème brulee like the previous chef. That would be Chef Boyardee, by the way. Have you seen the latest commercials for Chef Boyardee? They make it out to be that he actually had his own restaurant at one point, with people taking home some of his fantastic sauce. Hmmm. Can you say Not Happening! Yea, I want my enduring legacy to mankind to be that I made a food commonly eaten by broke college kids. At least he was number one until Raman noodles took over the empire.
And which empire is most noteworthy these days? The empire of William and Kate? The Apple without Steve Jobs Empire? The Republican empire? Well, they can take a break since Sarah Palin decided not to run, but alas, so many comedians are now unemployed as a result of the decision. Where else can we hope to find true leadership in this day and age unless it is a modern day fairy tale of an Alask-CAIN trailer park family! At least Bristol never appeared on Maury asking for a paternity test.
Speaking of tests, over 60% of Illinois schools are failing to meet US scoring standards, according to the Chicago Tribune. The No Child Left Behind act, enacted in 2002 during the Bush administration, is a valiant battle cry that we do indeed need to make education a top priority in our nation, for the well being of our future. War stories of old speak of invading troops not only pillaging a locale’s treasures of wealth and art but also their citizens of exceptional intelligence. Look at the Jews captured by the Nazi’s and forced to mint money during the war, as told in the movie, The Counterfeiters. Or look at Daniel and his friends in the (aptly named) Book of Daniel. In it, Nebuchadnezzar, who ironically enough, was the king of Babylon, besieged Jerusalem. Daniel and his friends were taken against their will to Babylon to bring prosperity to a nation that was not their own.
Maybe my first blog should be not about Babylon but more about what we “babble on” about…
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