Too Much Tv

Hello everyone,

I've been long in doing any writing. I went in for a surgical procedure on Thursday and I am still recovering. Now through the magic of cable television, I get to enjoy all the latest "As Seen On TV" products I could ever want. Since I had surgery on my abdomen, I cannot begin to describe the excitement I feel knowing that there are so many products available to help me in my recovery! For example, since I am bed-ridden, I feel so much safer getting up to walk around wearing my Brightfeet slippers! I now have headlights on my toes! And if someone should break into my home, I can flash the high-beams and run them off the road! Of course, as the lenses fade, I will need the Headlamp Polishing kit to keep those beams a shinin bright!

But wait! There's more! I need to do physical therapy to get myself back in shape. I can use the Slim Away Girdle! Just imagine. I can now make myself look like a piece of sausage and suffocate myself! But I do need day-time apparel, so I ordered a pair of the Pajama Jeans! One ass fits all!

There simply needs to be a law preventing me from looking at all this while under heavy medication. This is as bad as drunk Facebooking! Gotta love that hangover feeling of waking up, looking at your computer keyboard, awash in last night's tequila. I never knew I could get a lime to stick to the monitor!
Of course, I'm not so sure about some of these ads for midgets and farm animals.....
And now, all my FaceBook friends have been replaced with Russian men in blond wigs. Scary!

Wow! I joined a lot of political affiliations! I'm standing up for rights that I never knew existed! Ah, Jose Quervo, you are a friend of mine!

Well, time for bed. I look forward to writing more soon. And tell Greenpeace, the Republican Party & Lesbian Poodle Breeders that I am sorry for offending anyone! After all, I blame it on the drugs, not my stupidity! :) HICCUP!