I could see it as clearly as if it happened
yesterday. Well, that’s because it did happen yesterday. 80+yr old driver (now
there’s someone who needs valid license testing) with the handicap tag &
the rosary hanging from the rearview mirror and the “fish” on the bumper. Oh,
the “wheelchair” symbol on the license plate was another dead giveaway. Treat
this driver carefully as it will change direction as quickly as a two-year old
fed on Red Bull and cotton candy! I could smell the carnage about to begin.
And so it did. “Grandma” managed to halt four lanes
of traffic (50mph traffic by the way, semi’s included) so she could make that
“Oh shit! There’s the gas station I’m supposed to be going to” turn.
Patience, lack of being fully awake
or spontaneous humanity prevented what would have normally been a symphony of
screeching tires & obnoxious horns followed by a choreographed salute from
everyone stopped abruptly, letting her know she’s “#1”.
No, this was a good day. A good
moment. Everyone on their best behavior. One could almost say that everyone
“identified” with Grandma at that time. We either respected her as our elder or
we saw her doing something one of our own family would do and had the patience
to understand. No “angry birds” needed.
Ya gotta admire the elderly. They
have SO much power and control. After all, who doesn’t like Betty White? Our
“Grandma” of this story had the power to halt an 18-wheeler without lifting a
finger. Then again, who wants to ever
explain to a police officer how or why you hit an “innocent old lady”.
At the same time, police officers
should treat those accidents reports with gentleness in our favor. Because,
after all, it is very much like having a deer jump out in front of you
instantly! They magically appear from nowhere!
But what prevails more in my mind is wondering about their minds. The elderly, that is. The
senior citizens we live among. If you pay attention for a moment, you become
aware of the change. Both in them and in us. Let me explain.
Perhaps for those of us in our 40-50’s, we find that
we treat our own elders as little children. Because, after all, we ration, they
are acting like little children. No
so much rambunctious but inquisitive. Asking questions they should very well
know the answers to, over an over. Small things like, “Where do I keep my keys?
Or “How do I turn on the TV?” or even “Which way is it to the gas station?” We
find it dumbfounding that we need to be asking ourselves “This is the same man
that flew a fighter plane in the war?” This is the same woman who held down two
jobs and raised five kids?” Where did this one-time amazing person go?
I would offer this to you. Be jealous in their
freedom and their independence. Be envious of the world they are learning to
let go of. And then race towards where they are heading with all the energy you
can muster! Yes, they may be crippled with physical ailments. They may be a
prisoner in their own mind, needing constant care and attention. They may even
be that ancient hobo that makes his daily routine of digging his meals outta
the garbage cans. (BTW – buy that guy a meal once in a while. Have a conversation
with him. Ignore the smell. Find the BEAUTY God placed in him!)
Yes, be jealous for even if they are
not aware of it yet, they know they are “going home” soon. “Return to whence
you came”, “Abandon this mortal coil”, “Get your wings” and my favorite “Free
to be a kid again”.
They followed the footsteps of their
ancestors, Adam & Eve. They once had paradise and total freedom to do
whatever they liked – NAKED EVEN!!!!! WhooHoo! This is why two-year olds gotta
have naked time. It’s biblically imparted into them!
Adam & Eve could do no wrong “BUT”…….yea, even in
paradise, there is a catch, isn’t there. Seems they were told that they could
eat from any tree in the garden except
from the tree of knowledge (Or the knowledge of good & evil as stated in
some texts).
So why is this a bad thing? Wouldn’t you agree that
it is important, nay, life-saving to be able to understand good versus bad?
It’s the insight that tells us if it is safe to let our child go play with the
other kids or when to lock our car doors in bad neighborhoods or shut people
out of our lives because they may hurt us…..
So I ask you now to take a moment and ponder “who is
the real prisoner here?”
Oft heard is the phrase “Be careful what you wish
for. You just may get it!” The commercials for Prevacid & Ambien & Cymbalta
& Xanax make for a great debate on how much do we really need to know? And
how much of that can we really handle?
It would seem that the elderly have already started “unlearning” the knowledge
of good and evil. They have learned that knowing everything sometimes means knowing too much. Too much pain. Too
much heartache. Too much death. In their absentia, they (in my opinion) have
simply started making their journey home. I think we all come to various points
in our lives where we say “it’s too much”. I didn’t ask for all this!” And
then, out of sheer preservation, we shut some things down. Not in abandonment,
but in self-preservation because our minds simply cannot grasp the bigness of
it all. Our minds cannot grasp the bigness of God. Moses saw the back of God
and it made him glow like a candle.
Yet we demand for answers. Be careful what you ask
for.
There are survivors of 9/11, who saw the bodies jump
from the towers. They saw those pour souls land. Many cannot speak about what
they saw. It’s not that they are incapable, it’s that a safety valve within
their psyche locked up & simply said “it’s too much”.
Our elders have fought a lifetime battle trying to “discern
between good and evil”. It is a constant battle, where one must “take up your
cross daily” (gawd, I hate that phrase – story for another time). And I think
that we, not in defeat but out of a hopeful requiem, a joyful submission, we
relent. We begin to understand that it’s very tiring always being on your
guard. It’s exhausting always worrying if your family is safe and protected,
even though some ways you are powerless to do anything about it. It takes so
much work to always question someone’s motives. It’s exhausting fighting all the time!
One day you will find yourself following in their
footsteps. You probably are already. Where did you set the car keys again?? One
day you will set yourself free. You will let go of the baggage. And you won’t
give a damn if you just cut off four lanes of traffic because you forgot where
the gas station was.
